Forsaking all I've fallen for
by Slytherin-Abbyforever
Summary: Post-Hiatus fic. Disturbing imagery. Mikel returns and Gibbs isn't there for Abby to turn to.


_Author's note: Written back in the days before ff was booted off. Cross posted on several online forums._

_Song by Evanescence. Another of the half dozen fics I wrote in the aftermath of Hiatus. Quote, characters and context from NCIS episode 'Bloodbath', so spoilers for that, as well as 'Hiatus'. Shouldn't be an issue since that was so long ago, but if you are spoiled by reading on, it's your own fault. Beta-ed again by me, this morning. _

_Quotes in italics, song lyric in italics and bold. _

_Warnings: Disturbing imagination, death, obsession (stalking) all consistent with 'Bloodbath'. _

**"ALL I'VE FALLEN FOR."**

_**Catch me as I fall  
Say you're here and it's all over now  
Speaking to the atmosphere  
No one's here and I fall into myself**_

_"No one's going to hurt you."_

"Can you say it again?"

"No one's going to hurt you, Abby."

"Gibbs." Abby muttered as he did the one thing she had faith in him never doing. He left. Her choked protest was broken off by his finger on her lips, and his soft lips kissing her cheek what she knew would be the last time.

"Gibbs?" She asked, hopeful, as a number she didn't recognize appeared on her caller ID.

"Abby, It's me."

"Mikel?" Abby froze, finally knowing the voice that featured in enough of her nightmares

"I've missed you."

"Are you insane? How dare you call me after all you've put me through?"

"I want to start fresh. I know we've been going through a rough patch lately but we can work this out."

"You are insane. How are you not in prison?" Abby asked, stalling, trying to think of something.

"Can you believe that they let me go? Now we can be together."

"That is never going to happen. And if you don't be careful, Gibbs is going to..."

"What? Where is he now?" He mocked.

She slumped next to the boat. The treasured possession of her ex-boss. She could have put herself in that category at one stage but at this point she was not, the fact that they had both been left, disregarded by the man.

"What am I going to do now?" The scientist asked into the silent room. It gave her the answer she expected. Nothing.

_**This truth drives me  
Into madness  
I know I can stop the pain  
If I will it all away**_

He wasn't coming back. That was the fact she had to face. And now she was alone, with the fear that Mikel was going to hurt her.

_**I'm frightened by what I see  
But somehow I know  
That there's much more to come**_

_**Immobilized by my fear  
And soon to be  
Blinded by tears  
I can stop the pain  
If I will it all away**_

"I love you too much. That's why I have to do this." Mikel said as he pointed his gun directly at Abby as he cornered her in Gibbs' basement.

"Mikel, no! If you loved me, you wouldn't hurt me." She tried, knowing her life directly depended on every word and gesture.

"But you love me. And yet you continue to play these games with me. That hurts, Abby." He said stepping closer to her, as she took a step back. As he continued to approach she made contact with the wall. She was backed into a corner. She looked to the wall around her for something. A photo frame, a book shelf, a television antenna. Anything she could get her hands on to fight him away.

"I do love you. Please put the gun down, Mikel." She lied, putting her hand to his face to act as if she really felt that way until help could come to her. Not that she needed to stall for that to happen. No one knew she was in danger. And Gibbs' famous gut wasn't there to come to her rescue either. She was about to die, unless she could save herself. It hurt her heart that she was all alone when she needed them the most. When she needed _him_.

_**Fallen angels at my feet  
Whispered voices at my ear  
Death before my eyes  
Lying next to me I fear**_

She beckons me  
Shall I give in  
Upon my end shall I begin

_**Forsaking all I've fallen for  
I rise to meet the end**_

Gibbs knew that Abby wanted him back. And that any attempt she made, he would give in to. Which is why he had to break off any contact with her. Not that he didn't regret that or think about her most of the time. That anything black would remind him of her. Anything.

However, this night he couldn't settle and get to sleep. His thoughts were on Abby as always but there was something bothering him to the point where he became physically ill.

The shot echoed in her ears as she fell to the ground. The initial pain was the shock of the blast and the way time seemed to slow down as she struggled to fight death off. Abby had never feared death, but dying like this, so disillusioned with what she had put so much faith into. People she had put her faith into. This was not the way to go.

"I'm sorry, Abby." Mikel said grasping her hand as she didn't have the strength to fight him off. He even chose to mock her like that, in his sick mind thinking he was doing the right thing by her.

Abby had pictured her last moments in her mind many times. With her family. In her coffin at home, in a peaceful sleep. After a long life of passion and enthusiasm. A long life she knew was older than 35. She was in love with her life, the people. Well most of them. Her job, which she had fought hard to earn. Her family. But she had never pictured it ending in the arms of the man taking it away from her prematurely, with intentions of making it seem like she had killed herself in depression. Even tarnishing her reputation after her life ended. Not the way to go.

_**Don't turn away  
Don't try to hide  
Don't close your eyes  
Don't turn out the light**_

"You did this!" Gibbs accused slamming down a suicide note in what appeared to be Abby's handwriting. There were also some pictures of Abby that had been taken after Mikel had shot her and left her. Her eyes frozen open, the color almost invisible, her skin a color that was somehow paler than anyone had ever seen.

"How could you say that?" He asked sounding shocked at the accusation, looking away from the pictures. "I can't believe she actually went through with it."

"You think I'm an idiot. Look at the pictures. Don't pretend you're disgusted with what you see." He said forcing the other man's face violently to look at the images that he knew would haunt anyone that knew Abby. Certainly not something he considered himself strong enough to look at.

"I didn't do that! I loved Abby. I tried to protect her." He said and Gibbs yanked the smaller man out of his seat and up against the glass so fast that Tony jumped from behind the glass in the interrogation observation room.

"Look what you did to her. As if that wasn't bad enough you tried to make it look like she would kill herself." He said pushing Mikel's face into the pictures again on the table.

"I think one of us should go in there before he kills him." Tony said quietly.

"Let him." Ziva suggested and the look on her face said she wasn't kidding.

"How is she, Anthony?" Ducky asked.

"Not the same. She's trying to get back to normal but understandably can't. She isn't coping well." He said finally. "I don't even know what to say to her. They got so close."

"We just need to give her time. Then she'll be back to her normal self."

"I don't know Ducky. You didn't see her when Gibbs walked back in." Tony said sadly.

"Talk to me." Ziva tried, her tone docile and undemanding.

"What, Ziva?"

"Aren't you glad he's back? And got back just in time." The Israeli tried.

"It never would have happened if he hadn't have left. He made me promises. He didn't protect me. He got lucky that I didn't bleed out before he got there." Abby said leaning back in the hospital bed.

"Well, what exactly happened?" Ducky asked. "Has she spoken to you since she got out of surgery?"

"No. She's still pissed at me for leaving. And I don't blame her." Gibbs said, putting his head in his hands to shield his shame from his oldest friend.

"She nearly died. Abby just needs a little time to get passed that shock. It probably has nothing to do with you."

"It wouldn't have happened if I had stayed." He said. "I told her I would protect her and she nearly died in my house waiting for me to come help her."

"But you did save her. She would have died..."

"I got lucky. If I was any later..." Gibbs trailed off.

"Well, we don't need to think about that. We have our Abby back and she's safe."

"Almost. One more thing I have to take care of."

_**Never sleep never die.**_

No one ever found out what happened to Mikel. It was between Gibbs, Mikel and God. Whatever had happened, Abby was made aware that he would not be a threat to her ever again. She would not be put in that position again by the fault of the judicial system, or the absence of those that loved her and protected her.

"How did you make the pictures?" Tony asked when the issue was no longer a raw topic.

"Those are the one's Ziva took of me on the way to the hospital. I really looked that bad." Abby explained. After several weeks of forced hiatus, she was finally allowed back at work, starting with light work, until the physical therapy had her back to her usual self.

"Sorry to say it, Abs. I would have believed you were dead in those too."

"That's the point. Worked on Mikel."

"Abs." He called into the quiet lab. He had been back as leader of the team for weeks now but this was Abby's first day back since the incident. And the first time he had approached her without being sent away, or haunted by his own guilt.

"Sit down. S'about time we talk about this." Abby said.


End file.
